February 26 was my last blog
post and I will do better. You see, I have run into a strange spot. After years of
being sick and working so hard to fake it - I am having a hard time owning it.
It seems that I have almost convinced myself that the sick person really isn't
me. Like living my life in boxes: mom, wife, professor and academic author,
daughter, sister, volunteer, friend, sick lady…. Now I have gone and written a
book about being sick - yikes! Then, the book has gotten good review - even
recommended by US Review of Books - another yikes!
More people on the internet
and book reviewing circles know more about me than most people who live in our
little city. Clearly it is time to start combining my boxes. So to start I must
tell you that everything in the book is true. That said, I am not an extrovert
so the picture taking and blogging is more difficult for me. As a professor you
have the luxury of standing behind theory whether it is your own or someone
else’s. For How to be a Good Mommy when You’re Sick, I have to really put
myself out there for people and that is a whole different ball game. No,
I do not look like the cover picture on any days - I just don’t. Luckily, I am
not in the modeling business :) the pictures for today is my first “selfie”.
I think
having realistic expectations of ourselves as mothers with additional
challenges is a basic. As my husband would say - or a g rated version - “If you
can’t take care of the basics, you can’t do anything else”. He is an incredible
support and I could not imagine this journey without him. For him, I think
making sure that my basics are taken care of and reminding me to do the same is
a way for him to show that he loves me and wants me to be around a long time.
This may make some people mad at times but he really does not care and I love
him for it. With this confession, I am pledging to actively blog and be a
real person. The fake nails have come off and the real me is coming out. So I
will reintroduce myself as me - Emily Graves, a person who wants to make a
difference in people’s lives, be a great mom, and just be. The ride will not
always be smooth but I will be honest.
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